Category Archives: Death and Commemoration

You leave when you know

Posted on July 6, 2017 by

To the extent that one is given the time, one knows when it is time. Remember mother exiting after expending all possible efforts at final family reconciliation. Remember client settling into hospice. Exiting after there was nothing more to say … Continue reading →

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Dead Zone: Set Afire The Longship

Posted on March 2, 2017 by

An email comment to Neil Remington Abramson: More of a rush than you or I appreciate. We are in the dead zone, let us both keep in mind… To which he replied: For now, I am more concerned with “departures” … Continue reading →

Posted in Death and Commemoration, Various life philosophies | 1 Comment

“Pain is a great changer of ways.”

Posted on February 20, 2017 by

Eulogy comment of a family member of the deceased.

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Counterpoint

Posted on February 6, 2017 by

Visit client at hospice, days before death, listening to classical music. Don’t know the piece. Humming in perfect counterpoint, eyes closed, with a smile. He had past experience in church boys choir. Seemed to be sensing the vocals soaring around … Continue reading →

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Here

Posted on January 7, 2017 by

Speaking with a terminally ill client, in relation to how he wants his affairs managed. He looks at me, clear-eyed, from the hospital bed: You are here, because I’m not there. And then: You are there, because I’m not here. … Continue reading →

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Universal

Posted on February 20, 2015 by

Cat passed quick jerk cancer wrapped up in towel now try to bury tomorrow get through permafrost should have known with thin even with appetite suddenly all crashing should have seen looking for place to pass around the house same … Continue reading →

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No Grave Disposition III

Posted on December 3, 2014 by

Wrote about different approaches to remembrance, or indifference, here and here. An orthodox approach in Islam is depicted above. People buried as they pass, without specific family graves. Little by way of memorial as to who is there. Mohammed has … Continue reading →

Posted in Death and Commemoration | 1 Comment

Controlling The Grave

Posted on November 24, 2014 by

When our mother died, she had no plot. So she was cremated and placed in the plot with her parents and sister. Six years later, when our father died, my sister and I dug up my mother, under cemetery supervision, … Continue reading →

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Raked

Posted on April 24, 2014 by

Met a friend whose mother had just died. He had supported her for many years. One with several siblings; he is the one who supports. Private funeral. Grave set, by him, alone. Look at his hand; bandaged finger. Said he … Continue reading →

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Angel Moment

Posted on July 3, 2013 by

Have previously written about the Garden of Angels, at Beechwood Cemetery. Visit it regularly, following visit to parents’/grandparents’ grave. Very important to my younger daughter. She knows the names. Particularly one. The place where unexpected dead child rests. No family … Continue reading →

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