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Category Archives: Death and Commemoration
You leave when you know
To the extent that one is given the time, one knows when it is time. Remember mother exiting after expending all possible efforts at final family reconciliation. Remember client settling into hospice. Exiting after there was nothing more to say … Continue reading
Posted in Death and Commemoration
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Dead Zone: Set Afire The Longship
An email comment to Neil Remington Abramson: More of a rush than you or I appreciate. We are in the dead zone, let us both keep in mind… To which he replied: For now, I am more concerned with “departures” … Continue reading
“Pain is a great changer of ways.”
Eulogy comment of a family member of the deceased.
Counterpoint
Visit client at hospice, days before death, listening to classical music. Don’t know the piece. Humming in perfect counterpoint, eyes closed, with a smile. He had past experience in church boys choir. Seemed to be sensing the vocals soaring around … Continue reading
Posted in Death and Commemoration, Music
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Here
Speaking with a terminally ill client, in relation to how he wants his affairs managed. He looks at me, clear-eyed, from the hospital bed: You are here, because I’m not there. And then: You are there, because I’m not here. … Continue reading
Universal
Cat passed quick jerk cancer wrapped up in towel now try to bury tomorrow get through permafrost should have known with thin even with appetite suddenly all crashing should have seen looking for place to pass around the house same … Continue reading
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No Grave Disposition III
Wrote about different approaches to remembrance, or indifference, here and here. An orthodox approach in Islam is depicted above. People buried as they pass, without specific family graves. Little by way of memorial as to who is there. Mohammed has … Continue reading
Posted in Death and Commemoration
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Controlling The Grave
When our mother died, she had no plot. So she was cremated and placed in the plot with her parents and sister. Six years later, when our father died, my sister and I dug up my mother, under cemetery supervision, … Continue reading
Posted in Death and Commemoration, Family
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Raked
Met a friend whose mother had just died. He had supported her for many years. One with several siblings; he is the one who supports. Private funeral. Grave set, by him, alone. Look at his hand; bandaged finger. Said he … Continue reading
Angel Moment
Have previously written about the Garden of Angels, at Beechwood Cemetery. Visit it regularly, following visit to parents’/grandparents’ grave. Very important to my younger daughter. She knows the names. Particularly one. The place where unexpected dead child rests. No family … Continue reading