In the personality literature, there are two conflicting recommendations about with whom we can have the best relationship. Should we pursue others who are our opposites, or should be hope to find someone much like ourselves?
The person who is our opposite is often very attractive and exciting. They see things very differently from us. They engage in very different activities. And we, being equally opposite, may be just as exciting and different to them. The trouble is that, seeing things so oppositely, conflict is virtually inevitable, when everyday life replaces glamorous new beginnings. White for me is black for she, and vice versa. How can we avoid quarrelling when we can’t even agree on the facts and motives?
My soulmate is very like me. Our personalities are quite similar, and so we share similar values, attitudes, perceptions and goals, and we live in harmonious cooperation. We’ve been married 14 years and I hope we stay together for life.
How lucky we were to find each other. The odds were 1 in 10,000. It’s really much easier to find someone quite different, as we both did in our first marriages.
I guess that when I was young and inexperienced, I didn’t know who would be the best match for me, and who wouldn’t. Maybe neither did they.